Tuesday, August 28, 2007

My little puddle jumper

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He's our little soldier boy. God, I love this kid. Such a happy disposition ... he loves those puddles ... even the tiniest of puddles. Like all boys, I suppose. Casey loved puddles, too.

All I want, is for him to have a good life. A normal and happy life.

Believe it or not, I still have a hard time dealing with the fact that Matthew has a heart defect.

I have to accept it .... I know. I just HATE AND DREAD the thought of more heart surgeries.
I wish he/we never had to go back to the hospital. Hospitals are NOT FUN.

I feel sad today. I still ask "why".... why did this happen? I know I'm not supposed to ask why... but I do. :-/ Today I went to the waterpark ... I saw all these healthy little 2 year olds ... eating ... talking ... drinking .... playing ....

I wish Matthew did not have this defect, is all I can say.

I wish he could be fixed and be done with it.

We have an ECHO (to check on that leak) coming up on October 1st... maybe I'm just getting nervous.

27 comments:

Dan said...

All my kids love puddles - doesn't matter how deep it is, how muddy it is, what they are wearing... Tam especially will take special time out to examine, approach, and bounce multiple times into it.

As for the why's - the only answer i've ever come up with is "because". I know exactly how you feel, so don't worry, don't feel bad, and don't worry or feel bad for that pang of jealousy.

The Lowest Rated Blog said...

Good looking

Good looking photos. Kids love to play with water! I no longer have any kids but I do remember those good rainy days at the military base in Roosevelt Roads [used to rain hard every day] and all the kids playing with the standing water. There is no reason to feel bad about asking WHY. Even Mother Teresa of Calcutta asked WHY.

Have a fine VEGAS evening.

cfs

crabby old man said...

I CANOT SAY THAT I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL FOR I'VE NEVER BEEN THERE, THOUGH I CAN UNDERSTAND THE WHY FEELINGS BECAUSE THAT IS NATURAL. EVEN WITH HIS MEDICAL PROBLEMS HE SEEM'S TO BE THE PERFECT LITTLE MAN.HE SURE TAKES A GOOD PICTURE
I WILL CONTINUE TO PRAY FOR THE KING FAMILY & MAY GOD BLESS THE KING FAMILY

In_spired said...

Terri Girl,

I love the King family! Though I've not experienced what you're going through with the Soldier, I can probably identify better than a person who is not a worrier. I would no doubt have the same questions of "why" and the same concerns of your heart.

And...speaking of heart, YOU are definitely a person 'after my own heart'.

TUFFENUF said...

Since I first discovered Matthew's blog, it has made me smile everyday. We don't know the "grand plan", why some people are sick with life threatening illness. I only know that you have to grab the good times and cherish your wonderful little guy everyday - and I know that you do!

Burg said...

He looks so big! I can't believe how much he's grown just over the summer!!

If it helps, I believe that God only entrusts His most special of angels to people he knows he can truly trust them with. He knew you could handle it, but He also knows it's human to ask why on occasion.

Kate said...

what a beautiful little boy! - enjoy those moments when his eyes are filled w/ wonder and innocence. and many prayers for his test in Oct.

~JJ! said...

He is truly beautiful.

What a smile.

I love him too.

Hug him for me wouldya?

Then, hug yourself from me too...

Tonya said...

That looks so fun! And his face says it ALL :)

JoeinVegas said...

Does look like he is having fun in the water.

furiousBall said...

What great pictures, very handsome lil' fella. Water is so great for kids at play.

RWA said...

You just need to look at the very pictures you posted and see how much fun he is having - with something as simple as puddles.

And don't feel bad for your feelings. You want the best for your child, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Dan said...

That little guy is so damned adorable and sweet that my tri-glycerides just skyrocketted and I'm on the verge of needing some insulin. :)

Slackermommy said...

What a doll baby!

I totally understand your feelings. I often get on my pity pot about all of my oldest daughter's issues. I just have to let myself go there every now and then. For some weird reason it helps me cope if I can feel sorry for myself every once in awhile.

You are a strong woman and a great mom. You have every right to your feelings. We all imagine that our children are going to be healthy and near perfect. It's very hard to watch our kids go through difficult or painful things. It's one of those facts of life that really sucks.

Tiffany said...

You know he may have a heart defect but he is acting like a 2 year old (he is 2 right?) Mikayla loves to jump in all puddles - and if we are not going anywhere I let her!! The muddier the puddle the better. Good luck with the echo I will be thinking about you.

Terri@SteelMagnolia said...

Gosh,

I so appreciate all the kind words and support that I am getting today.

I can't begin to tell you how much it helps me.

Thank you all so much for being my pals.

Terry said...

Matthew is a beautiful boy! I wish he didn't have heart troubles too! I wish there was something I could do... well, I can pray for you guys and I will. I think its okay to wonder why. We all do that at times.

David said...

Eliza and Sadie looooove playing in water. We have a tiny water table and they try to climb up in it like a pool! Puddles are great fun!

Dorky Dad said...

My boy loves puddles. I don't like the fact that he loves puddles, but there you go.

Great looking kid!

And thought I can't relate to your feelings about his heart defect, I'm pretty sure that all those feelings are absolutely normal. And it's OK to question why things happen like this.

julie said...

What a cutey pie! I can't imagine the stress and heartache you guys have gone through.

Our youngest has some speech and develpmental delays. She is four but acts and talks like she is 2. People ask me all the time what is wrong with her (is this polite). I find myself just wishing she was like other 4 year olds. I don't want kids to tease her and for her to feel different.

Obviously, this is nothing like you are facing with your little guy. I can just relate to the feeling of wanting him to be ok and like other two year olds.

I will say a prayer for your family.

Blessings,
Julie

BottleBlonde said...

Terri, you are allowed to feel sad and to ask 'why.' You are human.

I think the fact that Matthew has a heart defect yet lives a joyous life can serve as a shining example to other parents whose children have heart defects. I'm sure you, your husband, and Matthew give them hope!

Ann(ie) said...

He is such a beautiful child, darlin. And I only want the same for my boy so I can imagine your situation will always have a sad undertone. But, with your close family, the love of two fabulous parents and Matthew's disposition I just see nothing but years and years and years and years of happiness. You guys really inspire me. And it reminds me to not sweat the small stuff.

xo.

carmachu said...

He looks so awesome, and like he's having so much fun....

Have faith...it will go well.

Meg-Dan-n-Eli said...

Think of all the amazing things that have come out of Matthew's heart problems....strength, compassion, new friends, the list goes on... This journey is a tough one, and no one wishes for their baby to go through something like this. I know the pain you are feeling. My heart breaks thinking of our long road ahead, too.

Whenever I start to get overwhelmed with worry, I remember that God is leading us through this journey and he has EVERYTHING under control. It's all in His hands!

Nancy said...

Those are AWESOME photos! I hope you are putting them in scrapbooks!

and...

That's all I want for my daughter too.

((hugs))

Flawed & Disorderly said...

Oh, I scrolled down and there are more precious pictures to see! How can you not just eat him up???? I'd have trouble ever scolding him!

I'm so sorry Matthew has a heart defect, and I'm so sorry it's not easier to mend!!! I wish I could change that for you! I feel bad when I get sad about Lindley because I know I should be grateful that it's not more serious. You're a steel magnolia for sure!

The Brian said...

adorable!